The unconscious forces affecting everything you do

Have you ever struggled to do something that you know you should do?

Or worse still, something that you actually really want to do?

If you’re human, chances are you have.

Most of us deal with this on a daily basis.

Yet despite the fact that we’re all familiar with feeling this resistance, some people seem to have a magic ability to slice through it with ease.

They seem to be able to do so much more than the rest of us.

And they make it look easy.

This dynamic was never clearer to me then when I was getting my MBA at Northwestern University.

You see, some of my classmates seemed to be almost wizard-like in their ability to accomplish anything and everything they wanted.

Whether it was regularly hitting the gym, finding & carrying on a great relationship, or scoring an incredible job offer, they seemed to do it all with ease. 

Some even traveled half the globe and started their own businesses on the side for good measure.

It was impressive to say the least.

Over time, I unconsciously picked up some of their "magic" habits. But I also got really curious about understanding them at a deeper level. 

Ever since then, I’ve been on a journey to try and do just that.

While I was working in the education industry the last few years, I started diving deep into the literature on human motivation. I also kept in touch with many of those same classmates.

Eventually, some key insights started to emerge...

Today, I want to share with you a few of those I've found the most impactful:

1. Motivation from aligning with your deeper needs & values beats “productivity hacks” or rigid discipline every time

You should not have to brow beat yourself into getting done what you want to.

When you bring yourself into alignment with your deeper motivations, you will not only want to act, you will feel compelled to act.

2. There are three categories of needs that all humans are motivated by:

i. Physical-material:  this category is primarily about survival related needs: food, water, shelter, safety. Acquisition of resources (aka money) solves for many of these needs. 

ii. Social-emotional: this category is about relationships with others and your relationship with yourself. It deals with how you feel about your “place in the tribe” and how you feel about yourself more broadly. 

iii. Spiritual-existential: this category is about connecting to your higher purpose. It’s not always religious or spiritual per se, but it is about connecting to something bigger than yourself that drives you.

3. Connection of an action to your needs determines how motivated you will be to do it

If you are not feeling motivated to do something that you “want” to do, it’s likely due to one of the following reasons:

i. You are ignoring another need that takes higher priority: for example, it might be really hard to be productive at work when you are ignoring physical needs related to your health such as lack of sleep or proper nourishment

ii. You are disconnected from how the action could be meeting your needs: for example, maybe you are avoiding the gym because you’re tired (physical), you feel embarrassed working out (social-emotional), and you see no higher purpose in it (spiritual).

BUT if you do go to the gym you’ll find you actually end up with more energy (physical) & over time will start getting positive compliments from people (social-emotional). Some may even find that through exercise they can reach transcendent states (spiritual). 

With those positive connections activated, it will be hard to stay out of the gym!

iii. You are accurately intuiting that the action meets none of your needs: sometimes your strong inclinations not to do things are a reflection of the reality that said thing meets none of your needs and should in fact be avoided (i.e., crime, meeting with difficult people, working for shady companies)

4. Your personal values impact the prioritization of certain needs within & across categories

While everyone has all of these needs, and must meet them all to a degree, we all value them a bit differently.

Awareness of your own values can help you make sure you’re living your life in accordance with them.

The more you can connect the actions you take to those needs you value most, the more you'll stay intrinsically motivated to do them.

And soon, people will be wondering what magic you're using to do so much while making it look so easy.