Take back control of the ship that is your mind
Mastering “metacognition”, or thinking about thinking, is the key to “waking up” within the dream of life.
There are two simple steps to mastering metacognition:
A. Separate “yourself” from your thoughts
B. Modify your thought patterns
We covered Part A in a previous article, which you can find right here.
Modifying your thought patterns
Once you’ve created space between yourself and your thoughts, and started to witness your own patterns of thinking, you have a tremendous opportunity to rewire your mind with better patterns of thinking.
I do not mean “rewire your mind” metaphorically. Neuroscience has shown that you can literally rewire physical neural networks in the brain and regrow damaged cells by changing how you think.
You may start to feel “unstuck” because you are literally becoming unstuck from old neural programming.
Whereas before your ego had unconsciously driven you to less than optimal ways of thinking and reacting, now you can consciously choose how to do so.
Over time, new conscious choices will turn into new subconscious programming in alignment with these new neural networks. And before you know it, your default way of thinking will have changed.
There are many practices out there that can be helpful in changing your thought patterns. I’ve found benefits from techniques taken from Metacognitive Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, as well as various eastern and western philosophies.
But right now, here are five key skills to get you started:
1. Recognize cognitive distortions
A concept from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, cognitive distortions occur when you interpret events with unconscious biases that distort your perception of them.
Common distortions include catastrophizing (blowing things out of proportion), personalization (thinking things are about you when they aren’t), and discounting the positive (only accepting evidence that affirms a negative belief you hold).
2. Dispel limiting beliefs
We all have ingrained beliefs about ourselves & the world that serve as filters for how we interact with the world. But limiting beliefs are false, unhelpful, and keep us from reaching our potential.
Some of the most insidious include believing "you’re a failure", believing "nobody likes you", and believing "you can’t change". But they can also be as simple as believing "you can’t do a certain job" or "date a certain type of person".
3. Leverage the emotional value chain
Become aware of the connection between your thoughts, feelings, actions, and outcomes.
Event → Thoughts → Feelings → Actions → Outcomes
Notice how changing how you think about events changes how you feel about them. And notice how the actions you choose to cope with strong feelings create different outcomes. In each case, be intentional about choosing patterns of thinking & acting that lead to better outcomes.
4. Choose a growth mindset
In her 2006 book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, Psychologist Carol Dweck showed that those who employ a growth mindset are much more successful throughout life compared to those with a fixed mindset.
Those with a fixed mindset believe that talents are innate, failure is to be avoided, and focus on trying to look good. Those with a growth mindset believe talents can be developed, failure is a necessary step on the path to success, and focus on learning.
5. Start thinking like the person you want to be
Think about the people you most admire. What patterns of thinking would those people choose in any given situation?
Now think about the version of you living in alignment with your highest values. What patterns of thinking would that you choose in any given situation?
Start looking to these models to guide you as you work on reshaping your own thought patterns.
There’s so much more we could talk about that goes into modifying your own thought patterns, but if all you do is truly implement these five skills above, you’ll be ahead of 95% of the people out there.
Give it a shot and start seeing for yourself.