The secret to better decisions & effortless productivity

If I ask you to think about someone with deep emotional awareness, you might conjure up images of an introspective musician, a soulful poet, or a doting mother. 

But most likely, your mind wouldn’t jump directly to someone known for their exceptional decision-making or effortless productivity.

Let me show you why it should.

When emotional reasoning is a good thing

When our emotions totally overwhelm us, they can cloud our judgment & lead us to make poor decisions. But in their normal functioning state, emotions serve to guide us towards better decisions. 

Without any feeling at all, it becomes near impossible to make a decision. Take this anecdote from Daniel Goleman’s seminal book “Emotional Intelligence” about a man who had the amygdala (emotional center) removed from his brain:

“The [lack of an amygdala] showed up even in mundane decisions…trying to choose a time and date for the next appointment was a muddle of indecisiveness: Elliot could find arguments for and against every date and time proposed, but could not choose among them…Elliot lacked any sense of how he felt about any of the times. Lacking that awareness of his own feelings, he had no preferences at all.”

Emotions allow us to identify preferences that align with our needs, wants, and values, in both simple situations (picking the time for an appointment, what to eat for dinner) & complex situations (whether or not to trust a stranger, what career path to follow).

While strong feelings don’t always hold with 100% accuracy, they do hold the clues to deeper meanings that can meaningfully improve our own decision-making when listened to and explored. 

But this requires being aware of your true feelings. The problem is they like to disguise themselves…

The three masks of negative emotion

Somaticizing is when someone comes to a doctor complaining of physical pain, but in reality is experiencing an emotional problem. This is a very real phenomenon. 

But I’ve found much more common in my own life is emotions disguising themselves as other “feelings”. It usually happens when I need to do something or go somewhere or meet with somebody, and my reaction is either:

1. “I’m too tired” or

2. “I’m too hungry” or

3. “I don’t feel like it”

Now these things may very well be true. But more often than not, if I dig beneath the surface, I find that it’s really a negative emotion in disguise: fear, worry, anxiety or something else seeking to trick me into avoiding that which I know I should follow through with.

Once I’ve brought the negative emotion into the light, I can then evaluate it with clear eyes – maybe my fear or worry is quite justified, and I should heed it.

More often, it is not. With this knowledge, I can discard it and confidently carry forth. But until I’m aware of the actual emotion guiding my actions it’s impossible to make an accurate evaluation.

From oblivious to aware

People generally at one of three levels of aptitude in their emotional awareness:

1. Oblivious: totally overwhelmed, reactive, and at the mercy of their emotions (think Ari Gold of Entourage; the Commedia dell’Arte style of theatre)

2. Resigned: generally aware of their emotions, but totally resigned to them and uninterested in trying to change them (think Eeyore for negative emotions; Pollyanna for positive)

3. Self-aware: mindful of emotions in the moment in a manner that allows them space to effectively manage them in alignment with their values & goals (think Ted Lasso; Yoda)

Through regular observation and investigation of our own emotions, we can move ourselves closer to being self-aware over time. 

Now ask yourself, how has your own emotional awareness impacted your decision-making & your productivity lately?